


Almost Lover

by LunaStar94



Category: VIXX
Genre: F/M, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of homophobia, One Night Stands, Pregnancy, Suicide Attempt, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaStar94/pseuds/LunaStar94
Summary: No feelings, they said. There will be no feelings between each other. It will be just sex. But fate had other plans. Eunbyul didn't plan on having feelings for her boss, Lee Hongbin. She also didn't plan the little thing growing inside... What will happen now?Teaser: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooXm4Y0BMfI
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Jung Taekwoon | Leo, Cha Hakyeon | N/Original Female Character(s), Lee Hongbin/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. Last Night

As I opened my eyes the light coming from the windows almost blinded me. The sun was shining so bright, it was giving me a headache- or maybe it was the alcohol I consumed yesterday night. I lifted my hand to rub my eyes but as soon as I did that I felt something on my body. Soon after, I also heard some grunting coming from my back. What’s happening?

I turned around slowly to look at the source of the sound. “Oh no,” I thought. “ _Oh no!_ ”

What was my boss, Lee Hongbin- out of all people, doing in my bed, naked? Why was his arm resting on my body? Uh oh, why was I naked too? “Oh shit,” I muttered under my breath.

As the visions from last night were rushing inside of my head, I closed my eyes firmly. It had been a year since Hongbin opened his photography studio and things were going so good, we decide to celebrate our one year anniversary and went partying. His friends and colleagues were all there. We were having so much fun and way too much drink.

“Damn it, why did I drink so much?” I asked myself quietly.

“E-Eunbyul?”

I heard him called calling my name, stuttered in surprise. Fuck. What am I going to do? We had sex! He was my boss! And I probably look like a mess too!

“Hey boss,” I said, smiling awkwardly.

“What-” He stopped talking as he probably remembered what happened last night too…

We were having a party. All of his friends were there, celebrating his success with him. Of course we had alcohol. Thankfully though, since his alcohol tolerance was high, he wasn’t that drunk when the party was over. Me on the other hand, even though I didn’t drink much, I still couldn’t walk straight so Hongbin offered to drive me home. I, in order to repay the kindness, offered coffee so both us can sober up a little.

As I was making the coffee, I didn’t know what got into his mind. He got up and walked towards me, wrapped his arms around my torso and planted a kiss on my shoulder. I felt like all the nerves in my body started to shake. I turned around to ask him what he was doing but we were so close, so close that I felt his breath on my face. I felt my heart pounding in my ears, I couldn’t think. Him being so close to me made some feelings resurfaced, feelings I didn’t know I had.

He closed the little gap between our faces by capturing my lips with his. Even though I was shocked at first, I gave in in the end. His soft lips on mine felt like I was in Heaven. Our kiss soon turned out more heated and we found ourselves in my bed, taking our clothes off swiftly.

“Eunbyul, I-” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

I smiled. “It’s alright. I wanted it too.”

He took a deep breath of relief. Having sex with someone without their consent was probably the last thing he wanted to do. “I better go,” he said, getting up to collect his clothes from the floor. I blushed seeing his naked body but shook my head to come back to my senses. I have seen everything last night, why was I getting shy all of a sudden?

“You can use the shower if you want to,” I offered, smiling like an idiot.

“Thank you for the offer… I’m too embarrassed to do that…”

I giggled. He was embarrassed, huh? Maybe it really was the alcohol. He had nothing to with me. “Boss?” I called him as he was putting his clothes back on.

“Yes?”

“We can forget that this happened.”

“Can we?” I looked at his eyes. Seemed like he desperately wanted this too. I nodded at the. “Thank you.”

He then left. I took a deep breath before getting up but sat down again with the pain between my legs. It wasn’t too much but it still disturbed me. “So this happens after that,”I smiled bitterly.

I tried getting up again, collecting my clothes from the ground; I looked at my bed sheets… Did Hongbin also saw the red stain on the sheets? I really hope he didn’t. I took the sheets and stuffed them with my clothes into the washing machine. I took a warm bath, preparing myself a nice breakfast before readying up to leave. Yes, we did have a party last night but we also had tons of works to do.

“How am I going to face him now?” I talked to herself as I was walking to the bus stop. “Can I really forget what happened last night?”

-

(Hongbin’s POV)

He ran towards his car, he wanted to leave as soon as possible. How could he do that? She was his assistant, she was working with him. He had to see her every day… What was wrong with him? How did he let the alcohol get the best of him?

He sat down at the driver’s seat; he fought the urge to slam his head against the steering wheel. He finally turned his car on and pressed at the gas pedal.

He wanted to lie down in his bed and never get up but he had duties. He took a quick shower, made himself a simple sandwich as a breakfast. He dragged himself to get ready for another work day. Thankfully he was going to be pretty busy today. She asked to forget last night and he agreed- but can he? Can he forget how her body laid down under him? Can he forget how every inch of her body shook with every kiss he planted on her body? Can he forget how his body felt like? Can he really forget how he felt complete with her? Fuck! What was he going to do? He was going to see her every day… Can he prevent himself to not go to her, take her to the storage room at the back of his studio and do all kinds of things that are going on inside of his head right now? Can he really forget what happened last night?

“I can’t,” he said finally. “I can’t forget last night.”


	2. Friends? With Benefits?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! There will be smut towards the end.

I took a deep breath before walking into the studio. When I saw that he’s already there I took another one- or tried to take one since the sight of him took my breath away. What was happening? Yes, I always found him attractive, one must have problems with their eyes to think that he’s ugly, but I never felt like this before. I never have my heart beat like I ran a mile. When our eyes met for a split second, visions of last night appeared in my head once again. I couldn’t help but blush at the thoughts in my head so I ran to the staff room to calm myself down.

“Eunbyul? What’s wrong?”

Hana. She was my best friend ever since high school. We were head over heels when we both got accepted to this job together. Hana was a make-up artist- very good one! It was also some sort of luck since she was the big sister of one of Hongbin’s very close friends, Sanghyuk. Actually, it was because of Sanghyuk that both Hana and me knew of the studio and applied for our respected jobs.

“Nothing,” I said.

“Eunbyul, I’m not your best friend for nothing. I notice when things are not okay,” she said, smiling threateningly.

I sighed, as if the whole world was on my shoulders. “Okay, I will tell you. But promise me not to tell anyone!”

“I feel offended that you think I would,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Hana! Please.” It was Hana who sighed this time. She moved her hand, telling me to go on. “I… may have… had sex with… boss?”

“YOU DID WHAT?”

“Can you yell a bit louder? I don’t think the aliens have heard you!”

“You can’t expect me to not be surprised, yes?” She smiled widely. “How… How did it happen?”

“We were both drunk…” As I continued to tell everything that happened last night, Hana’s smile grew wider. “Why are you smiling like an idiot?”

“How was it?” she asked, trying to hold her laughter but failing. I rolled my eyes. “I’m seriously asking though, how was it?”

I paused for a bit before answering. “It… was good.”

Hana clapped her hands together, her eyes beaming with happiness. “My friend finally lost her v-card… To a very handsome man at that!”

“Stop it please,” I jokingly pushed my friend. “I’m embarrassed as it is.”

“Ah,” she continued, not listening. “When I will meet my right person, I wonder…”

“What makes you think that Hongbin is my right person?” Hana turned to me, suddenly very serious. “I told him to forget what happened and he agreed.”

Hana sighed. “You like him though, don’t you? Otherwise you wouldn’t let him…”

“I find him attractive, I’m not sure if I like him or not…”

“You will figure it out soon, I believe.”

I could only shrug. When we got out of the staff room, I promised myself to not catch any feelings because I knew deep down that I will only get hurt in the end.

-

Days were gone; I was surprised with the longing I felt. I wanted him, again. Especially when I woke up from that wet dream I had the other night. I found myself touching my neck; trying to feel how I felt like when his lips were there. I took deep breaths to calm myself- but it was to no avail. I longed for him, it was stupid, I thought. How could it be possible? We have done it once and I was drunk most of the time! How could I want what I can’t even remember properly?

-

(Hongbin’s POV)

Hongbin was no different. He tried to push his thoughts and feelings aside by sleeping with other women but no- none of them made him feel like how he was with her. He needed her.

It was no surprise to him when he found himself in front of her door that night. He contemplated whether if he should ring the bell or not. When he decided not to, he turned around to leave but stopped in his tracks as the door opened.

“Hongbin-shi?”

He turned back swiftly, a shocked but a silly smile on his face, he waved awkwardly. “I… wanted to talk with you about the photo-shoot tomorrow…”

-

(Eunbyul’s POV)

I smiled as I was making hot chocolates as it was very late and none of us quite like the coffee. He was the last person I’d think of appearing in front of my door in the middle of the night. What if I didn’t open my door to get the trash outside? Would he ring the bell? Or would he leave?

I sighed before putting another smile on my face while taking the two cups of hot chocolate to the living room. I gave one of them to Hongbin and sat on the chair across him.

“Can you believe it’s been a year already?” he said after taking a sip. I looked at him with a questioning look, he continued. “I mean since we met.”

“Oh,” I smiled. “True. I can’t believe it’s been that long.”

“I wasn’t very sure at first but Sanghyuk spoke very well of you so I wanted to give a shot,” he said, smiling. “I’m glad I did. I don’t think I could’ve found a better assistant photographer even if I search the whole country.”

“Stop it,” I giggled. I could feel the blood was rushing towards my cheeks.

“I’m telling the truth. I’m glad you joined the team.”

We looked at each other for a while, breaking into huge smiles and drink the rest of our hot chocolate- which were almost cold.

“So, what about the shoot tomorrow?” I asked finally.

Hongbin took a deep breath. “Eunbyul. I lied,” he said after taking another breath. I raised my eyebrows. “I… wanted to see you.”

“See me?”

Hongbin nodded. “I can’t forget about the other night.”

It was my turn for taking a deep breath. “I can’t too.” I confessed at the end.

It was quick, too quick. We found ourselves in my room, taking each other’s clothes off while kissing each other rather violently. As if we were starving, as if we were hungry for each other. Our hands were all over each other, I was surprised about how I felt complete. Hongbin took me up into his arms and laid me down on my bed gently. Our lips found each other once again, kissing more slowly this time. His hand moved from my neck to my chest, caressing slowly at my skin. He broke the kiss, moved his lips down to my neck. Sucking the sensitive and soft skin, I was sure that he was leaving a hickey. He ran his fingers down on my body again, his hand found its place on my womanhood. I felt like all of my body was trembling with his touch. Hongbin smiled, knowing exactly what he was doing to me. He massaged my clit with his middle finger, slowly, to drive me to the edge even more.

“Hongbin please,” I begged. “Please don’t tease me.”

He chuckled. “But where’s the fun without the teasing,” he whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes firmly as I felt like I can’t contain all the emotions I was feeling. “Don’t be shy, babe.”

I opened my eyes, feeling shocked that he called me like that. Meeting his lusty eyes, I bit my lower lip. He smiled before meeting my lips, kissing me again. I moved my trembling hand down, trying my best to not feel shy, as he said. I caressed his body, running my finger down his abs slowly and finally stopping at his throbbing manhood. He broke the kiss, taking a short breath feeling my hand near his member. Taking advantage, I took a quick deep breath to get courage before giving his manhood a few strokes.

A deep moan escaped Hongbin’s mouth, looking at my eyes deeply. “What-”

“This is how the teasing feels like,” I said, giggling.

Hongbin, couldn’t handling anymore, held my hand, taking it away. He licked his lips before kissing me once again. With his other hand, he separated my legs and moved his body closer to mine. I winced when his member entered my body slowly. Hongbin waited while my body got used to it, moving his kisses down to my neck, he held my hand over my head, intertwining our fingers. I moved my free hand to Hongbin’s back, caressing his skin when he finally started to move inside me. I was sure my nails left marks on his back but I didn’t care, he left a mark on me too.

I don’t know how longer we went on; we couldn’t let go of each other. How to feel full when you were starving your whole life? When did we got tired, when did we fall asleep, I didn’t know.

I opened my eyes, feeling Hongbin’s head on my chest, I smiled. I felt at peace, but there was a question in my mind the whole time… _What now?_

It didn’t take long before Hongbin groaned in his sleep, nuzzling his face more into my chest and finally open his eyes to look up to me.

“Good morning,” I said, smiling.

“Good morning,” he said, pouting.

We both got up, took a shower together before we prepared our breakfast. We sat down, eating happily. I took a deep breath, I had to ask.

“Hongbin, can I ask a question?”

Hongbin looked troubled, as if knew this question would come up sooner or later. The question he didn’t have any answer to. “Sure.”

“Um,” I took a shaky deep breath. I didn’t know how to ask it without looking desperate. “What… are we now?”

“Should we label it?”

“Huh?” I raised her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Eunbyul, you’re the first woman who made me feel like this. But I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship… I… I don’t know.”

“But-”

“I know I sound like an asshole,” he cut my words. “But can we not… I mean, can’t it be just… sex?”

“You mean like… friends with benefits?”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Yeah that’s what I’m talking about.”

I bit my lip, I thought for a while before answering. “Okay… Let’s set up some rules then.” Hongbin nodded again. “No feelings, just sex. If any of us starts catching feelings, it’s over.”

“Okay. I want to add a rule as well. No sleeping over? I will leave as soon as we’re done.”

“Yeah, I’ll do the same if I come over.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

With that, Hongbin left. “Friends with benefits, huh?” I spoke to myself. “How to be just friends with you when you make me feel like this?”


	3. Busy Night, Busy Day

“What should I wear today?” I mumbled to myself. I was searching through my closet to find something decent to wear when I stumbled upon a cute, blue floral dress. The weather was getting warmer each day and I thought I could pull it off with a denim jacket- which I did. I styled my hair into a rather high ponytail and did a simple make-up. I wanted to feel pretty after last night.

I smiled at him when I arrived at work and walked into the staff room. Why was my heart beating in my ears? No feelings, we agreed on that. But _fuck,_ does he have to look perfect? He was just wearing jeans and a white t-shirt, how did he manage to look so good? As I was preparing for today’s shoot, I heard someone yelling outside.

“Where’s my favorite photographer?”

I smiled widely as I recognized the voice; it was none other than Cha Hakyeon. I opened the door as fast as I can and walked into the studio.

“Hyung, stop it,” Hongbin groaned.

“Who said I’m talking about you? Oh, there she is!” he said happily as he opened his arms, nodding his head to call me over. I smiled again and walked towards him. He took me into his arms and gave me the softest hug.

“What are you doing here today?” I asked.

“The shoot is for my magazine, silly! I wanted to see how it is,” he said and laughed. “I have trust issues towards certain someone.”

“Hey! I’m here!”

“So?”

I laughed. I loved their relationship so much. Hongbin and Hakyeon were best friends since high school. Even though they went separate ways after high school, they never lost their contact. Hakyeon owned a fashion magazine and Hongbin sometimes took the pictures for the magazine.

“I’ll let you guys catch up,” I said. “I got to prepare for our model today.”

“Isn’t our model today Jaehwan?” Hakyeon asked and I nodded yes. “Oh he’s no stranger, you can do it later boo, come here.”

“But-”

“No buts! I missed you!”

It’s been a year since we met but as time went, we became good friends too. Hakyeon has his charms; he could enchant anything and anyone.

“Five minutes then?” I asked.

“Alright.”

We talked about nothing and everything before I excused myself. Yes, Lee Jaehwan was no stranger to Hongbin and Hakyeon. Sometimes I was curious about how these talented people found each other, what kind of a high school did they attended? Six of them; Hakyeon, Taekwoon, Jaehwan, Wonshik, Hongbin and Sanghyuk all met during high school and still were best friends. When Wonshik set up a company for music and modeling, he took Jaehwan as a singer and Taekwoon as a model under his company. When Sanghyuk graduated college, he offered him a job at his company as a lyricist and composer. They were inseparable.

Hana and I were lucky that our paths have crossed- thanks to Sanghyuk being Hana’s little brother- _Oh shit!_ I stopped my thoughts as I remember Hana. She was a huge fan of Jaehwan and she didn’t know about today’s model was him. I bit my bottom lip, trying to think of the ways to calm my best friend when she finds out about it.

When I heard hectic sounds coming from the front desk, I figured the famous soloist Lee Jaehwan has arrived at the scene. Thankfully, Hana was still not at the studio yet. I walked to the front desk, greeting Jaehwan with a smile on my face.

“Hi,” Jaehwan waved, smiling widely.

“Hi, Mr. Lee,” I bowed. “I’ll take you to the make-up studio since Hongbin is still not ready with the set.”

“Why are you so polite Eunbyul? We’ve known each other for a year, drop the honorifics please.”

I smiled. “Okay, Jaehwan oppa, I’ll take you to the make-up studio.”

As we walked towards the said make-up studio, I looked towards Hongbin to see if he’s ready- but he was not. When our eyes met, I moved my hand, signaling him to hurry up. He nodded.

“Okay, do you want any drink or anything else?”

“No, thank you.”

I nodded. “I’ll go and help Hongbin then.” I walked out after Jaehwan nodded his head. “Need help?” I asked Hongbin.

“Yes, can you please get this talkative guy away from me so I can work?”

“Hongbin please, be more creative with your insults,” Hakyeon said, scrunching his face.

“Hakyeon oppa,” I said cutely. “You can sit at the make-up studio; Jaehwan oppa came already and is there now.”

“Oh, is he? Okay then, you are saved Lee Hongbin-nim!”

“Thank God.”

I shook my head to their childishness but ended up laughing at them. They were so adorable.

“I have arrived!”

I turned around to be greeted by my best friend, looking like her gorgeous self as always. She wore black denim shorts and a little over-sized white t-shirt, it was simple, but she looked gorgeous anyway. _It’s her lucky day_ , I thought.

“Hana!” I shouted as I ran to her and give her a hug. “I want to warn you before you walk into your workplace,” I whispered into her ear. “Today’s model is… Lee Jaehwan.”

“WHO?”

“You heard me,” I smiled nervously.

“I did… I’m still processing…” She took a deep breath- then another one, and then another one. “Did he come here with make-up on or…?”

“No make-up on.”

“ _Fuck._ I’m going to touch his face?” she whimpered.

“Yes, yes you will.”

“ _Fuck me_.”

I snorted. “You sure you want to say that to me or…?”

“Oh shut up,” she laughed. She took another deep breath. “Okay, I need to be professional.” She nodded. “Professional my ass, how am I going to do that?”

Shrugging, I said: “You have done his make-up countless times before! But, anyway, fighting?”

Hana glared at me. “Thanks.”

“Don’t worry,” I said, sighing. “Hakyeon oppa is there too.”

“Well, that’s nice to hear.”

I smiled lovingly at my best friend before dragging her to the make-up studio and shoving her inside. Then I walked towards Hongbin to help him.

“So? What are you thinking?”

“Hm?” he looked up from his camera, blinking a few times; clearly clueless about what I was talking about. “About what?”

“About today’s shoot? We didn’t talk about anything yesterday…”

“Yeah, we were pretty busy doing more pleasant things,” he said, he winked before bursting out laughing. I shook my head but couldn’t help laughing myself. “Well, I talked with Hakyeon hyung. He wants some retro style photos, since the clothing is also retro.”

I nodded and looked around. “Well, you’re almost done with the set already. Want me do add anything?”

“Help me with the lights please? You know I’m suck at that.”

After nearly 30 minutes; the set, the model and the photographer were all ready. As the shoot continued, I walked towards Hana, asking if she’s alright. She nodded yes, but I could see she was nervous. So I took her arm, pulled her over to the side and started to talk to her in order to get her mind out of things.

“I forgot to tell you something,” I started, pressing my lips together to fight the urge the smile. Hana raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to continue. “Hongbin came to my house last night.”

“What? Why?”

“He said he wanted to talk about today’s photo-shoot but…” I didn’t know how to say…

“But? Eunbyul, please!”

“We did it again.”

“Are you kidding me? You were going to forget about it?”

“He said he can’t… Anyways, that’s not the point…” I took a deep breath. “We’re fuckbuddies now.”

“Shut up! For real?”

I sighed. “Yes. No feelings, just sex.”

“Eunbyul, you… You sure you can do that?” I shrugged my shoulders. “You have feelings for him though, don’t you?”

“I don’t know. Hana… It’s so great with him, I feel like I’m a complete person, you know? I don’t want to lose that and I don’t want to lose our friendship too…” Hana took me into her embrace, hugging me tightly. “ _I’m okay._ ”

“Girls! We need a touch up on the make-up!” We heard Hakyeon’s voice calling us.

“We’ll talk about this later, okay?” Hana asked and left after seeing me nod.

After a busy day, we were finally done. Only Hongbin and I remained in the studio, cleaning up the mess we made. Hongbin was placing his cameras down; I was taking the tripod to its respectful place.

“Hongbin?” I called him. Hongbin looked up, smiling. “Umm, are you going to visit tonight?”

“Why?”

“I want to prepare you a dinner.”


	4. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start, I want to warn you. I re-wrote the entire work and changed the POV of the story. I had to delete some parts and add a few so please read the previous chapters before reading this.

Dinner? _Dinner?_ Did I really just invite him over for a dinner? Was my mind at the right state? I sometimes hate myself because words just come out of my mouth before I even think about them. Inviting him over at dinner means that I also want to… _have sex with him_. But do I not want that? Do I want that?

I let out a huge sigh as I walk in to my apartment. I carefully throw my purse to the sofa, placed the shopping bags on the floor and went to bathroom to wash my hands. I had to go for a grocery shopping after work because I have to prepare a dinner for my boss.

I don’t even know what I should prepare- hell! I don’t even know if I’m good at cooking. Yes, I can make decent things and I don’t poison myself but are they delicious? I never prepared food for anyone else than my parents and of course, them being my parents, maybe they were too nice to me to say that my cooking sucks? Hana never let me cook for them. For a reason she thinks that I would be a disaster in kitchen, Sanghyuk was no different. But he was more like teasing me about it.

I unpacked the stuff I bought and placed most of them in the fridge. My parents liked the pasta I cooked before so I decided do it for him too. I took the chicken breast, sliced it and seasoned it before I chopped the mushrooms. I poured the pasta into the boiling water and cooked the chicken and mushrooms. After straining the pasta, I put them all together and added the cream and shredded mozzarella. Voila! As I turned down the stove and wait for the pasta to rest, I prepared the table. I took out the white wine from the bag and put it aside.

Then I made my way to my room to change my clothes. I didn’t know if I should overdress myself or just wear comfy clothes… I guess it depends on if I want to impress him, which I don’t… I don’t want him to think that I need his body on top of me, him inside of me-

Stop, Eunbyul! You really are not making this easy for yourself. Yes, I want him. But I can’t help feeling this is wrong. I don’t want to lose him either. I engaged myself with something that I can’t handle. I shouldn’t have but I have already done it, can’t back out now.

I grabbed some denim shorts and an oversized t-shirt from my wardrobe and put them on. The weather was getting warmer anyway, can’t bother with uncomfortable clothes and make-up, I do go through that pain every day for work anyway. He sees me every day with more fancy looks, if he wants to spend time with me; he should see this side of me too.

As I was leaving my room, tying my hair into a messy bun, the doorbell rang. He has arrived. I opened the door, rather slowly to not be seen eager. There he stood, with jeans and a plain short-sleeved shirt, God damn it! Why does he look perfect even when he didn’t bother dressing up nicely?

“Hi,” I said, smiling.

“Hope I’m not late?” he asked, also smiling.

“No, I was just done with everything.”

We stood there for a while, looking at each other and smiling like idiots. “So? You’re not going to invite me in?”

“Oh, sorry!” I giggled. “Come in!” We walked in to the living room and I showed him the table I prepared. “Hungry?”

He smiled widely, showing his gorgeous dimples. “Very.” He sat down in one of the chairs and I went to the kitchen to get the plates. “White wine?” he asked as I was placing the plate in front of him.

“Yes, I made something with chicken. You know what they say; white meat with white wine, red meat with red wine.”

“You know a lot of things about alcoholic beverages for someone who is a non-drinker.” I sat down, smiling.

“I’m not a non-drinker, I just know my limit.” He was about to say something but I cut him off. “That night was an exception, I was having fun. And for the record, I didn’t even drink that much… I just can’t really hold alcohol that well.”

“Yeah, that night was really fun,” he said, smirking. Then he took a bite of the pasta. “Whoa! It’s really good!”

“Really?” I asked, I wasn’t expecting him to have this kind of a reaction.

“Yes!”

“Can you say that I cook delicious food to Hana, too? She doesn’t believe I can for some reason!”

He laughed. “Sure!”

We talked about work and other stuff as we eat. We’ve known each other for a year but I never knew how easy it is to talk with him. He knew almost everything; he was very smart and had many interests. And he was so funny! I knew about this since I saw him with his friends a lot of times.

As we finished eating, he helped me doing the dishes. “Want to watch a movie?” I asked, he nodded yes. “Choose the movie, I’ll bring the snacks.” He made his way back to the living room. “Oh, the laptop’s password is my birth year!” I shouted from the kitchen. “1994.”

I took the chips and poured them into a large bowl, then took the sodas from the fridge. “Did you manage to connect the laptop with the TV?” I asked while walking into the living room.

“Yes and I’m currently choosing the movie…” He paused, looked like something was bothering him. “You are younger than me?”

“You didn’t know? I thought it was in my résumé…”

He shook his head. “I didn’t look at it,” he laughed nervously. “I always thought we were the same age.”

“No, I’m a year younger,” I giggled.

“Then why aren’t you calling me ‘oppa’?”

I almost dropped the bowl in my hands to the floor. I placed them calmly on the coffee table and sat beside him. “Should I?”

“Doesn’t matter…” He pressed the play button.

Of course he had to choose a movie with a sex scene in it. I turned my head to look at him, to see he was looking at me too. I smiled and extended my hand to hold his. He intervened our fingers. I could see something different in his eyes but couldn’t pinpoint what actually it was. He scooted over, his free hand went around my back and his fingers were drawing circles on my back.

I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to focus on the movie but it was so hard when I could feel his fingers on my body. He slowly put his fingers inside my t-shirt, this time I could feel them on my skin. I took a deep breath, it was too much.

I lifted my head, looking up to him, completely focused on the movie. I smiled to myself, only two can play this game. I scooted a bit closer too and lifted myself up a little bit to reach his neck. I breathed in his scent, my eyes flickering with the sensation I was filled with, he smelled so God damn good. I planted soft kisses on his sensitive skin. I could feel his muscles tensing up as I speed up with my kisses.

His arm around my lower back tightened and in a second, I found myself sitting on top of him and our lips met. I could feel his hands trying to find the ends of my t-shirt and soon he found them. He swiftly took it off of me and held my neck to draw me closer to kiss me again. My fingers found their way to the buttons of his shirt; I started to unbutton them with my trembling hands. I was so not used to this stuff and it was obvious. He held my hands and put them aside, unbuttoned his shirt himself. I helped him getting out of it and placed my hands on his glorious shoulders. His hands were all over my body again, wherever he touched, I felt the burning feeling they left.

His hands moved up to open the clasp of my bra but I stopped him before he did that. I looked straight into his eyes and smiled. “Not here,” I whispered.

We got up, hand in hand, walked into my room. I laid down on my bed and started to get rid of my shorts as I saw him taking off his jeans. He got on top of me in no time and we started to make out again that soon turned into a very heated sex.

After we were done, he got up and started to dress up again. Oh right, it was one of the rules. No staying over, leave as soon as we’re finished.

“See you tomorrow,” he said before walking out of my room, leaving me there still naked.

I broke down and started crying uncontrollably after I heard my apartment door closed. I hate this, I wanted more, I wanted to be with him… I wanted to sleep snuggling to each other and wake up together… _I wanted more of him;_ spend more time with him… I don’t want _this_ …

Did I really fall in love with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it. This is probably the longest chapter I wrote for now. (I mean for this fanfiction, hehe.)


	5. Jeju Island

As I opened my eyes, I felt my whole body stiffened. I wanted to stretch but every bone and muscle in my body hurt. Then I realized what happened; I cried all night and fell asleep because I was so tired and I didn’t even wear any clothes- my window was open too. It was getting warmer, yes, but not at nights… I managed to reach my phone that was sitting on my night stand and looked at the time.

Thank God, today was Saturday- which meant I have today and tomorrow off. I forced myself to get out of bed and filled the bathtub with warm water. Feeling all my muscles relaxing felt so good, I let out a moan. Then I laughed at myself for being a fool- that soon turned into a hysterical laughter and then crying once again.

I was miserable. What did I get myself into? My heart hurt so bad, it was hard to breathe… I love him, I do… I don’t even know since when but it felt like I’ve been in love with him since forever…

Finally, after some time I found the strength to get out of the bathtub. I wrapped myself in the towel and walked into my room. I wore warm clothes and made my way into the kitchen to have my breakfast even though I didn’t feel like eating.

I prepared some cereal, sat on the sofa in the living room and turned on the TV. Not paying attention to the TV and mindlessly eating my cereal, I just sat there alone with my thoughts… Maybe I should take a break, not let him in… Maybe I should build a wall around me to protect myself. I have to protect myself. Because I know that I will get hurt even more…

But the question is; how? How do I do that? How do I not let him into my life? How do I reject? I have to see him every day and now this too… It was like an addiction, I can’t let it go…

As I put the cereal bowl in to the sink, thinking about the dishes I need to wash, I received a text message. I rushed back to the living room to take a look at it. It was our work group chat and Hongbin was the one who sent the message.

“Hey guys! We have been working hard for over a year and I think all of us need a good break! How about we go on a trip next month? The weather is getting warmer and I thought we can plan a trip to the sea! Or maybe, Jeju Island?”

“Whoa! Our boss is the best!”

“Only going as the studio workers or can we bring a company? Sanghyuk-ie wants to come too!” Hana texted.

“Sure! My friends will come too!” Hongbin answered and continued. “Tell that brat that I was about to text to him too, so he doesn’t misunderstand.”

“Okay!”

I’m sure Hana was head over heels as of now because Jaehwan was coming too. I felt happy for my friend but I wasn’t sure about me. I wanted to go, for sure… But should I? Seeing him outside of work and also outside of my house, especially on a trip to sea… Can I handle it? But maybe since we were going to be in public, he would behave nicely…

I received another text; this time it from Hana in our private chat: “Hey, what are you going to do?”

“I have no idea,” I texted back. “I feel like he won’t… you know want to do anything since there will be other people?”

“Sister, he’s a man.”

“True… What should I do Hana?”

“Come… We will have fun!”

“Okay…”

Then I proceed to send a text to the group chat about how excited I was about the trip, with a straight face on.

-

The said next month came very quickly. During this time, Hongbin didn’t visit me at all. Apart from seeing each other at work, we never met. I didn’t know what he was planning, what was going on inside his head… Maybe he got tired of me? Maybe he didn’t want me as much as he used to…

I didn’t know what was going on with me too. I wanted this, I wanted it to stop and it did. Now I’m questioning why it stopped… The thing is; I got too used to it in this short time, which was ridiculous. But he felt so good, so right. I became addicted to his scent, his touch.

I took a deep breath as I was packing my stuff. We were going on a one-week trip to Jeju Island. Hana forced me to buy bikinis, as if I was brave enough to wear them in front of Hongbin. But then again, he saw me naked lots of times. Sighing in defeat, I placed the bikinis as well as some swimsuits.

I was excited actually. Firstly, it was a free vacation. Secondly, I was going to be with people that I call my friends. It was going to be fun. It has been so long since I’ve been to Jeju, too. My parents took me there as a gift for graduating high school. Hana and her family came too. We spent a great time there and I was looking forward to this trip too.

We’re going tomorrow. I’m going to meet with Hana and Sanghyuk in the morning and we will take a taxi to airport to meet with others.

After I made sure I packed everything, I put my suitcase near my door and prepared myself for the bed. As I lay down on my bed, I received a text message. I got my phone and looked at the screen. It was from Hongbin.

“We’re going to have so much fun in Jeju.” He texted with a wink emoji… Oh boy…

-

I opened my eyes with the sound of my alarm going off. It was too early but we wanted to arrive at Jeju early, so it was alright. I stretched and get up. I went to the bathroom to wash up and took my toothbrush and toothpaste after I brushed my teeth to put them in my bag.

I wore my most comfy shorts and an oversized t-shirt, braided my hair and applied make-up. Then I took my sweatshirt from the wardrobe, tied it around my belly so if I get cold, I could wear it. I took my bags and got out of the house as I got a text message from Hana, informing me that they were in front of my house. They decided to come here first, take me and then go to the airport with the same taxi.

We were excited, not just because we were going on a trip but also we were going to somehow relive our best memories. When we arrived at the airport, Hakyeon was already there with Taekwoon.

“Hi!” Hakyeon said happily and waved at us. He then hugged me tightly as I walked to him. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too! I was so busy, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s alright. I was busy as well.”

Everyone arrived one after another but Hongbin was late. Hana made her way towards me and locked our arms. “Why does he look so gorgeous? He’s wearing casual clothes and has no make-up on! Why?” she whispered. I giggled.

“Maybe this trip will help you to get close to him?” I asked, or more like I hoped.

She sighed. “With me being this shy? I can never make the first move!”

“You don’t have to make the first move,” I said and smiled. “Just make him notice you?”

“Advice from a love expert?” she asked mockingly. I furrowed my eyebrows jokingly. “I will try.”

I was looking around to see Hongbin arrive but he was not coming at all. I was about to get worried. Seeing my worried face, Hakyeon walked closer to me.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be here soon.”

“I don’t know why he is so late?”

He chuckled. “He is so lucky have an assistant like you, who worries about him this much.”

I sighed. It was not because I was his assistant… It was because I was in love with him. Minutes passed and I was getting more and more worried. But finally, he arrived.

“Sorry everyone! I had to arrange some stuff.”

“We were getting worried,” Hakyeon said, eyeing me at the same time. I rolled my eyes in response.

“It’s alright Binnie,” Wonshik said.

“You know you’re the only one who can call me that, right?” he said, glaring at Wonshik.

“What about me?” Hakyeon butted-in.

“No, you can never call me that hyung!”

“You know we don’t have all day, right guys?” Taekwoon said. “We’re going to miss the plane.”

“Okay, okay. But we will talk about that Hongbin!”

Taekwoon had to push Hakyeon inside rather gently. With that, we all went inside and checked out our tickets. Plane was leaving in half an hour so we were chilling at the waiting area.

“How are we staying at the hotel? Are the room arrangements done?” Sanghyuk asked.

“Well, it’s up to you. I’m staying alone,” Hongbin said.

“Ah!” Hakyeon said. “I was hoping I could share the room with you.”

“Not a chance. Stay with Taekwoon hyung.”

“Why me?” he asked.

“Well I’m staying with Wonshik, right buddy?” Jaehwan said.

“Yes!” Wonshik cheered.

“Sanghyuk you can join us if we can get a three people room!”

“Alright hyung!”

“Kwon Eunbyul,” Hana called my name and turned to me. “We’re sharing a room, right?”

“Of course!” I answered, eyeing Hongbin at the same time. He looked a little bit disappointed but brushed it off swiftly. Then I felt like him staying alone had a reason…

“Okay, I will stay with Taekwoon,” Hakyeon said, it seemed like he was not looking forward to it. I wondered why…

“I’m repeating my question. Why me?”

“You have anyone else in mind?” Hakyeon asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Taekwoon paused a bit before answering no. I smiled watching them. I loved their friendship so much.

I put my head on Hana’s shoulder and closed my eyes; I woke up too early so I felt so tired. But my comfort has been disrupted by the noise coming from the speakers. Our flight was ready to take off. Finally, wait for us Jeju Island!

-

After an hour and 10 minutes of flying, we have finally arrived at Jeju Island. As soon as we got out of the airport, a big black van just stopped in front of us. Then Hongbin told us the arrangement he had to make, the one who made him arrive late, was this. We all got in to the van and the van drove us to our hotel.

The hotel was amazing! As we were waiting in the lobby, I was busy admiring the architecture of the building. It was mainly white and the columns reminded me of the Roman architecture.

“Alright!” Hongbin’s voice cut my thoughts. “Hakyeon hyung and Taekwoon hyung, here is your key! Room 302. Jaehwan hyung, Wonshik and Sanghyuk, here’s yours! Room 303. Room 304 belongs to me. And here is yours girls!” He gave me the key of room 305. I felt something else in his hands, a tiny folded paper he sneaked in. Then he proceeded to hand out the keys to others. I gave the key to Hana and opened the paper.

“Can you visit my room tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
